A Taste Of Lubbock

1. Lubbock has many houses of worship. The two biggest are Jones Stadium (football) and the United Spirit Arena (basketball).
2. Lubbock has an annual even called “A taste of Lubbock”. This is not to be confused with the event during dust storm season, which is called “A taste of Lubbock Landscape”.
3. Lubbock is tolerant of people of all sexes, temperaments, age, creed, color and sexual orientation, just as long as they are good coaches.
4. Lubbock’s idea of prohibition is to put all of the package liquor stores just outside of city limits; ’cause, Lord knows, a fat guy wouldn’t cross the room for a donut and a Tech student won’t drive a mile for a beer!
5. The two biggest sports in the fall are Tech football games and drunken brawls after Tech football games.
6. Lubbock has some type of ten-year cycle of weirdness. In the 70′s tornadoes hit. In the 80′s the Virgin Mary was expected to appear. In the 90′s an earthquake shook Lubbock. In 2002 a Tech Professor lied about destroying viruses that could wipe out a big hunk of the population. Psychics predict that this cycle will continue into 2011 when a Lubbock driver will actually use a turn signal.
7. The two hardest things to find in Lubbock are bad barbeque and a parking space anywhere near Texas Tech.
8. The Lubbock newspaper publishes a daily prayer on the front page. It’s very appropriate because there isn’t a prayer of finding anything interesting on the other pages.
9. Lubbock finally got the funds to build a major freeway and promptly names it after a basketball coach.
10. It’s true all traffic directions start with “get on the Loop” and end with “get off the Loop”. They don’t mention the middle part of “if you survive the Loop”.
11. Lubbock has a somewhat successful minor league hockey franchise and their popularity has nothing to do with the fact that it’s the only sporting event in Lubbock where you can drink beer.
12. After a Tech victory against A&M, the Aggies responded by beating EACH OTHER up.
13. No matter when you read this today, ten years from now, or even it is was found in an archeological dig, one fact about Lubbock will not have changed. The Loop will still be under construction.
14. Lubbock has the best, friendliest people in the world because, as you can tell from the above list, all we really have is each other.