Can I say this?

You have to love email forwards.

I received this twice from two different people in a span of three days. It’s too damn funny not to post.

25 Things You Wish You Could Say at Work

1. I see your point, but you’re still full of shit.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. I see you’ve set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.
4. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
5. And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?
6. Whatever kind of look you were going for…no, just…no.
7. Do I look like a friggin’ people person to you?
8. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
9. I’m visualizing you with duct tape over your mouth.
10. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?
11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
13. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
14. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
15. How about “never”? Is “never” good for you?
16. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
17. Oh, I get it. Like humor. Only different.
18. If I throw a stick out in the hall, will you leave?
19. Wait a minute – I’m just trying to imagine you with a personality.
20. How do I set this laser printer to stun?
21. Ahhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
22. It kinda sounds like English, but I don’t understand a friggin’ thing you’re saying.
23. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
24. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
25. You’re validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.